Today I was walking in the Babyland Mall when some cheeky kid comes up to me and says, “I want an IPhone for Christmas!” I didn’t know what in the world he was talking about. Then he turns to his mom and says, “Look! It’s Santa Claus!” Now I’m not easily offended, but some guy walks up and says I resemble an obese Arctician (i made up that word on the spot) with hair that’s been growing since 34 A.D.?! That’s enough to get me pretty heated up. So, I ran to throttle the kid. Well, the mall had recently had a paint job, and the paint on the floor was pretty slippery, so I slipped and slid into a golf cart (the last thing you’d expect to find in a mall) and hit my head on a golf club.
