Santa December 20, 2007

Today I was walking in the Babyland Mall when some cheeky kid comes up to me and says, “I want an IPhone for Christmas!” I didn’t know what in the world he was talking about. Then he turns to his mom and says, “Look! It’s Santa Claus!” Now I’m not easily offended, but some guy [...]

Happy Thanksgiving! December 20, 2007

I am thankful for Natopotato because of all the encouraging comments he gives me. I’m thankful for Joel because he’s a great friend. I’m thankful for Ian because he’s a good friend and helps me with this blog. I’m thankful for Nathaniel for helping found Old Man Comic Company. I’m thankful for toothpaste (the one [...]

Lotion November 12, 2007

I’m sure many of you have put lotion on after a bath or a shower to keep your skin moist. Well, I tried it with disastrous results. Tough Bob said my skin would be really rad (most californians know what that means). But the problem is, well, I don’t know how to put on lotion. [...]

Wahoo! October 22, 2007

Wahoo! Wahahahoo! Waaaaaaaaahooooooooooo!!!!!!!Wahoo! Wahooooo!! WAAAAAHOOOO!!!!!
(wahoo!)

A Happy Marriage October 13, 2007

If you’ve read earlier posts, you know that Old Yam my twin brother has been dating an elephant. Well, on September 27, 2007, Old Yam proposed. The marriage was on October 4th. But it was kind of strange. I was the Best Man, but I arrived at the wedding late because I had eaten a [...]

Iron Swan July 5, 2007

I was visiting Diaper World, Babyland’s theme park, when I saw this giant black swan standing up, spreading out its wings, and ready to attack me. Frightened out of my wits, I ran to the nearest employee, a janitor named Nugget. I showed him the fearsome swan, and he said to me,
“Sir, that’s an iron [...]

Blubbernugget Lessons January 22, 2007

I opened a little club that raises blubbernuggets, and it is run by me and my friend Ian. Every week we get together and take notes on our blubbernuggets, and I also teach the members a little bit about raising blubbernuggets.

The Racecar Disqualification December 15, 2006

Today I was driving in the national Babyland Racecar Finals. Now, I wasn’t among the top racers, but if I do say so myself I think I did a pretty good job; a good job crashing alot. You see, I crashed so many times I was disqualified. The only award I got was an award [...]

I Sneeze A Sneeze That Makes It Into The Guiness Book Of World Records November 11, 2006

Today I sneezed a sneeze that blew away the entire block. Not that anyone noticed, seeing as almost everyone was asleep from the epidemic. That reminds me; if you know any doctor that is able to cure this epidemic, please send him/her over to Babyland.

Eating Contest November 11, 2006

I won an eating contest, and boy do I feel sick. The following certificate didn’t make me feel better, either:

Babyland Eating Award

is hereby presented to
Old Man Armpit Underpit
for outstanding eating and even more outstanding vomiting afterward.
Signed,
Noodle Blunderhead
President of Babyland